Friday, July 29, 2005
Sorry seems to be a very easy word to me, whenever I think that I offended someone I will just say sorry, no matter to who, I m like soooo weak that I have to keep saying this word. I say this word more than 20 times a day. The reason why I say so many times is because I don’t wan to offend people. I don’t wan to risk it, I don’t wan to take things for granted again, I promise myself not to take things for granted already. I always say this word is because I want my reputation to go up, I want people to see me as a gentlemen and not something else, I want them to know that I am reliable. But I was wrong about it, people thought that I was soft and they started to take me for granted. During my relationship with ‘Wei’ I always want to be perfect for her I don’t want to disappoint her at all, so every time I did a very simple mistake I will be like saying “soreeeeee” for a thousand times just to cheer her up. But she wasn’t even upset at first, I was thinking too much that’s all, but I don’t want to take that chance I don’t want to risk it, I just keep on saying sorry. Then one day she was fed-up with me and she make a deal with me, “ur not allow to say sorry more than ten times a day or u will not be able to meet me for 3 days” after that everyday I will control my mouth and try not to slip and offend people, especially ‘Wei’. Then one day I did it again I thought that I offended her and I keep saying sorry. I don’t know how she feel that time but I just don’t want to take it for granted and I don’t want to take the risk, one thing I don’t know was that I didn’t do anything wrong at all. Because of this she also give up and just call me to do what I do and keep on saying that ‘sorry’. She is so damn use to the word and she just take it likely, she thought I wasn’t serious at all. Everyday in school once I say sorry everybody also takes me likely nobody was serious. But to everyone I say sorry I really mean it, but the word is just too easy to flow out in my mouth every little thing I’ll be saying that word already. Well after 1 month we broke up and as usual everybody was sad, including me. Two months later I saw her very very best friend ‘yun’ online in msn and have a chat with her, I call her to see my recent post about wei and me in the blog, well she said ‘ sorry is NOT enough and even wei forgive u but I DON’T u hurt her and this is what you get’ to me I find that what she say is true, I admit it I did hurt her, but just hope that yun know the whole true story, not to say I m right but just want her to know the truth. After that there is no hope for me to go back to wei, and I I hope that I can turn back time to get things right again. But I can’t!!!! I can’t !!! I just can’t do it I just have to live with what I deserve and what I’ve done, now I know that sorry cant help us solve everything, sorry is an easy word to say but it is hard to prove. From now onwards my ‘sorry’ is not going to be a foolish one, ‘sorry’ gives me today and I don want to make my mistakes again not anymore in life, I find that in a relationship we learn a lot a lot kinds of stuff, meaningful stuff. From now on, no more saying sorry sooo much and never ever take things for granted again, analyze the situation before we take action. No more being a kid, time to change to be better for you and for the society.
Wae Lern
29/07/2004
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