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Thursday, June 04, 2009
p.s: This is for myself to read.
So anyway my life is spiralling out of control again...why cuz on bloody september i will need to go to vietnam for one week and exactly after that i need to go to somewhere. What the fuck...both are obligatory somemore....why why..i am really grateful and all. But if put studies into consideration...this is hell on earth. All theses scenario mean i as human need to become superman campur batman campur spiderman. Work like hell man. I also dunno my assignment due on there or not...if not i die man.
Furthermore, i just finished my assignment...and still scared YM OH will minus marks for over till cannot over words. T.T
So updating from my previous blog....about the booo hooo sad i am lost kinda thing. When i read again its pretty pathetic...and yeah...bloody LPS is going to say" but u were always is" fuck u in advance. Why so rude wan this blog....thx to LPS...yes the broken mouth that i have. U know who u are. U DO AND ALWAYS WILL DO, even if u deny it.
Ok, anyway i am going to plan out what i want in my future and talk to my boss personally. She will know the market more than...so i need to know what opportunity that i have. However, i dont want to shun the Bank options aside..thus i am going to weight it...interview banking ppl and see how. I think this should be the best way to choose my decision.
So i am le shock that we are at our finals in the 2nd last sem...omg so freaking fast. cannot believe lor...i stil remember first sem we like blur childish kids so innocent...i dunno about LPS lar. Why i keep quoting her....omg umm tong i, OH NO....KILL ME NOW KILL ME NOW....anyway i also want to comment on us keep talking bad about the foundation ppl. Were we that idiotically stupid last time. OMG so embarassing. Actually the cycle go round and round wan lor...we talk bad others then ppl older will talk bad us....same wan lar.
So one question..LPS why u need to talk bad about ppl leh...open to the floor lar...WHY why. Do u find it enjoying to torment ppls life...whereby they dont even know why they are tormented...now that is true cruelty....LPS cakap cakap.
Ok i gtg sis ask me sleep...keep bloggin all these fai thing. Its fai but i need to revive this blog...as if its not dead enough.
ok lar post ur comments on the tag....bye.
P.s: comments above are not meant to be taken seriously. Just to spice up the blog..LPS hope u understand (Kambing Korban) Bye bye peace...PEACE
I am blogging again. Got mood lor....my blog followers need to be very patience wan. Hahaha jk. Anyway its been a long 3 months. Holiday? Rest? Nah i just worked and learned a lot. So here goes. I have reached a staged where carreer for me to choose is at hand, becuz i need to choose a job at the end of this year. Either i will go ahead with gold gold or work with the BANKS. Yes there is tons of stuff that i havent explore and i have plunged my head into Gold already. Which is 10% related with what i studied.
b4 my readers go on reading...the below written is all my thoughts...so it will be complicated. I am writting this as a diary. So it will be draggy and loads with bad grammer. Be Warned.
I am here in a crossroad where both side seems bright. One where many have traveled and succeded. The other few had travel and few had succeded. So i am thinking. If i choose their the road i might not be happy, but if i choose the other i will be happy. But is happiness enough to cover the sacrifices that u are going to make along the way. I have not reach there yet so i would not know.
Besides, i feel that i am useless working in gold gold. Its not that i cant do well in the jewellery....i can actually but its the other stuff. U see what i have been doing is just COPY COPY Copy everything other ppl do. I dont use my brain and try to solve problems. I dunno is it the bad memory that i have inherited. But anyway its this habit of following what other ppl say. Do this and that...follow and accept (quote from cheras)
I dont seem to be able to manage myself and others around. I know it can be learned but it needs time. I always lack focus and when i do a reapeated task i can just blanked out and my hands will keep doing the task. And when it passed i will have no memory over what i have done....weird huh. Its like my subconcious mind has taken over. It has become a habit till i dont use my brain and think of what i am doing.
So i feel useless when simple problems can be solved but i cant do it and my collegue will say that i am like children and duno how to do things. Anyway this is part of it.
The other part is my job....actually i love it but when it comes to the factory part i dont say i hate it but i just like it. Not in love with it. So i was thinking that if i keep doing this factory job like kuli like that. Then very sien lor if do long already. And i am not learning anything lor. So i see how it goes through this whole year.
I want to pursuit my career here but if they dont teach me more i might not know whether this job is my destiny...as i havent fully tried it out yet. I mean the process of making jewelery.
So for now i let time tell and i need to make a backup plan. What am i saying i already got a backup plan which is going to Banking or ask my boss to fly me to Holland and work there. Lolz. If not i have to ask advices from my boss, in what is her plan for me and so on.
I wrote this bcuz i got loads of advices from friends and family...more like critism on what is my plan. I guess they are worried and they believe that i may regret. They advice me about what the outcome maybe and said "if you think that the sacrifices is worth it and u are still happy then its fine"
Actually when i was eating lunch with my collegue in a cafe and i see the office ppl dress in formal wear and have so much money. I think well it does not mean office ppl will have loads of money. Maybe it would be more difficult for me, but who knows. who knows.
What i want is not just become jeweller but explore other carrer and jobs. I may never know what other jobs that i could have loved. Cuz i got youth where else my collegue are all old d...they depend on this job...while i still can fly far and wide.
This is added in the last minute: i read the poem the road less travelled. When iwas young i dont even understand but now i understood clearly. Yes the other road may have the better claim, but what the heck i choose the one less travelled anyway. Life is an adventure anyway.
So for now till the end of this year i will just see see look look and pay attention to my studies for now. AND I got to start using the most powerful thing in my body. ..the brain. Dont think other stuff. Lolz.
So work......i have been working for like few months now. I worked b4 the holz. Actually in my point of view...people pay u for ur time....cuz that is the most valuable thing you got. Seriously time is more precious then gold. You will know what i mean when u dont have time to even eat. LOLZ. The point is that, that is the point. TIME. First, is it worth it tat you work for a company till 2 or 3 AM. And believe me nowadays most company are doing that...and they are not going to even pay you for OT.
I just wonder why we humans are getting busier by the day....arent technology suppose to ease our lives....it just make it harder. Furthermore, in my opinion, spare time is a necessity for each individual...why? Cuz with each spare time u dont use it for entertainment lar...use to ponder on where you are going. Is life what u imagine it to be...are u ok with who u are now? and so on? Cuz time flies like the speed of light not train ya. So when u are so immerse in work you will either lost ur way or die of some health problems. Why u see ppl 30 years old die....first they work too hard till they dont even feel their body has a problem. Second, they dont even have time to eat proper food. and thirdly you die like a bee, here let me explain. Insects die faster as they move so fast they burn out all their life span...where else a tortoise live long cuz well u know why.
So time is needed so u know what u are doing with ur life. You only got 100 years..thats 10 years for a great OAK tree. So see....i have seen many ppl who have woosh pass life and say "when did i end up here". And its pretty common....judging by the technology that some how "improve our lives"
Ok next topic. I believe that aliens are totally laughing at us by now. U notice that there are rare alien visit reports nowadays. Why? I think they should be saying " there is nothing here for us" "enough research, we are way better" "waste of time" "lets go"
Heres the think....for humans to evolve into aliens...that is a real giant leap. I believe they become aliens or reach that level bcuz they know how to think beyond us. That means they have reach this thinking that they can clearly define what is right and wrg. That is evolution. They have fully utilise their minds. As our minds is the greatest gift. I believe aliens are not evil at all...why? Cuz if they were...they early have wiped out their own species b4 they even build a spacecraft. See evil kills everything...there wont be much room left for anything really. Take for example, japan. They are practically killing their own kind, by forcing more efficient more effective more PERFECTION...how to achieve. Longer hours longer stress and sacrifice sex and life lor. Fair right....i find it perfectly reasonable. U see that they are progressing but in truth they are regressing. stas shows that if they keep this up, in the year 2010, 10million Japanese will be wiped out. They are making themselves extinct. The worst part is that they know it and they want to go on. As the jap gov persuade companies to let staffs go home early...but most company refuse. If that is not evil i dunno what is, this is dispicable, cuz u are making ur own kind suffer rather than killing them. Its worst than killing, they are sucking the life out of the ppl
It not how good the technology is...it is more on how well u control that technology. Not let it control you. We keep making the same old mistake. We create money...now it control us. Then "economy" now it control us again....then oil then now technology. Through out history we fail to control the thing we invent. And that is our downfall....we create more chains for ourselves. How stupid is that.
If we ever want to evolve we must learn from our mistakes. PERIOD.
So anyway...enough ranting...about my life. One word progressing, thankfully....and great. I said i am not going to bore my readers with nonsensical stuff.
(ABOVE ARE SUBJECTED WITH MY OWN OPINION. NON DIRECTIVE TO ANYONE. EVERYBODY IS SUBJECTED TO THEIR OWN OPINION AND HOW THEY WANT TO WRITE)
Thanks and ciow. Blog when i got the mood. :)
REGRETTT.....too dramatic right?
MY EXAM STARTS ON A FREAKING SATURDAY!!!
Yes freaking SATURDAY.... they got no heart no heart!!
Haiz....very scared,nervous, that i will fail....T.T...but i one to just get over with it as soon as possible and continue working. I love work. period
Anyway....GOOD LUCK in EXAMs lots of lots of LUCK..ciow
Yes, it is so important yet some people take it for granted. Some people think that they have confidence, but actually they dont. Why, because they win a lot, they never lose and that dont really require confidence. Seriously, if u keep winning because you are good at it or what not...then that is not confidence. Its because you are good at it. Confidence is when u fail and still be able to think at that moment that you will not let the words, the eyes, and the expression of others sway the deep believe you have within youself.
I was attack by that numerous time, why, i admit it, i lack self-confidence. I have been lacking that for a long time. I dunno, maybe too emotional le gua, lack sports? well i guess these are the determinants. Ok enough crap. So it struck me yet again. It happen when i could not answer the question, which i did was wrg. Then the lecturer was said i lack critical thinking, i could not twist my mind. Even thou it sounds small, it hit a nerve on me. I thought "what if she is right"...and i started to accept it. Then my whole day was just thinking about it...the scenario keep replaying itself.
Then i though...maybe i am dumb. It gets worst right. Ya i lack confidence. Anyway i have been through these situation tons of time....what make this different is that, its been a long time since this emotion came back. Anyway i though "i have been through this" "if you dont like it, change it" this has always been my life-motto and it never failed me. So yes i said ok since u said that i might or is true that i lack analytical skills, i will change it.
I have found a way to overcome confidence, you find a way to change. Change is inevitable...everybody needs change to improve. So yeah ok. The tricky part is to know whether that comment is true or not...that you need to answer it by yourself...do u think that this will make u truly happy. If that is the case then go ahead...if you do this because of somebody else....my advice "Dont change". Why, cuz its dumb, seriously, why change for someone else, at the same time causing a detriment to oneself.
Oh i just found out something at Forbes. Hate to burst your bubble. But actually there is not such thing as talent. No scientific evidence what so ever that can prove it. However, they know what caused this thing called "talent" which is over-rated. Some people may say it is an in-born talent but actually its the passion and determination that makes someone stood out from the rest.
Its not about doing the things you are good at...its doing the thing that you are NOT good at. Yes its true, but its not all about practice also. Its not practice make perfect. But its actually practicing with your brain. As quoted "you can practice for the whole day, but when u practice with a brain you take only few hours".
Many so called talented people....practice with such determination and passion that it looks extraordinary. They do something that no average people will do. They dont get into their comfort zone. They get out of it and explore ways to improve it...once they found how they can improve...hell they will practice. It is said that Tiger Woods practice till his hands bleed...and the next day still go on doing it. He even purposely find spots that is impossible to hit the ball and just work on that spot until he finds a way to get the ball out.
Its all in the heart and mind. Doing something that no other ppl will do. Forbes did say "if everybody can do it, then everybody will be very talented". "When you deem it impossible, then it will be impossible. "
Anyway blog some other day....its late i need to study my tutorial and calculation....haiz. Oh watch HEROES season 3...its awesome if you are in to the superhero thing.
